we don't speak

One great thing about countless hours of studying is countless hours of shuffling iPod. Discovered and rediscovered a few gems:

My most important rediscovery was Radiohead’s “Exit Music (For a Film)”. I forgot how amazing it was. I played that song on repeat (but I was very careful not to listen tooo much, because who wants to associate such an epic song with studying for finals?) and found myself wanting to scream in the library: “You guys have NO IDEA what music even is right now!!!!!!!!!”

but, I did not.

My friend Lily gave me some CDs by The Dodos (formerly known as Dodo Bird) weeks ago and I heard them and gave them a good rating. But last night I LISTENED to them!

Their song “Beards” made me laugh aloud in the quiet library. Check out the lyrics:

“Beards” by Dodo Bird

You can hide behind it

You can subtly pose it

You can wear it how you like, I know you will

They are taking over

It’s on every other

It will tell a story like the ones you read

I will never have one

I will never have one

It would grow in sparse and light

It would be an ugly sight, so please

Don’t look upon my face

Don’t look upon my face

And grow it out until it comes to standing still

Join the crowd of aging beards a’many

They are looking at me

They are looking at me

Through those beady eyes

They’re thinking what they will

They will keep them safe and warm

From the cold of other’s charm, I warn

Don’t look upon that face

Don’t look upon that face

And grow it out until you’ve found your inner peace

Join the crowd of aging beards a’many

Ah! I just love that! I think it so perfectly describes how much males fixate on their facial hair. “Grow it out until you’ve found your inner peace”…”you can hide behind it”…”they are taking over”…Ha! I never knew how much beards affected one’s psyche! But I certainly think beards deserve their own song. And the song itself is sad and gloomy sounding, but I thought the lyrics were hilarious…

The other Dodos song I especially appreciated was “Neighbors” (don’t you love how to-the-point and simple their song titles are?).

“Neighbors” by Dodo Bird

Ruby’s out there on the block

Chasing down her little dog

Calling out but he won’t stop

‘Cause he’s sick of feeling stuck

Can’t provide the things she wants

She won’t handle when he’s gone

He’s getting free, he’s going long

Feeling further as he runs

I hope he does

Neighbor’s out there in the yard

Doing pull-ups on his bar

Getting stronger, working hard

Gonna have a head start

Gonna look just like a star

Gonna go out stealing hearts

I hope he falls

I know them

They know me

They’re the ones

That I see

Everyday

Probably

We don’t smile

We don’t speak

Sammy’s out there painting trees

Covering up the graffiti

Mumbling something through his teeth

About the kids out on the street

He won’t leave it, let it be

Maybe they’ll come back and see

Painted over permanently

He’ll go mad, he’ll go crazy

I hope he does

I know them

They know me

They’re the ones

That I see

Everyday

Probably

We don’t smile

We don’t speak

Don’t smile, don’t speak



Now this one isn’t funny (though the topic is, to me at least), but it’s so honest. I’ve always noticed how people blatantly ignore each other, but it’s regarded as the norm. People will really go out of their way not to interact with strangers. They’d rather stand than sit next to you on the bus. When I’m running, I say hello to everyone and it’s surprising how many people pretend I don’t exist…! Dude! I saw you look at me from the corner of my eye! You and I both know that I’m running right by you! You don’t have to pretend you don’t know I’m here!

And it’s so true–people really don’t interact with their neighbors much, aside from an occasional hello. It’s a pretty convenient person to get to know, too. I have new neighbors and I’m gonna try to get to know those bros next quarter…and, try not to be such a stranger to everyone.

a prayer revolution

I promised to share some post-teaching thoughts on prayer.  Last week, as I taught women’s bible study, we came to John 14:13-14, when Jesus says:

“I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father.   You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.

This is an amazing promise.  Of course, it’s not a blank check for us to cash anytime we want to. Notice that there are two conditions.  The first condition is that we must ask in Jesus name.  Here’s one area where I wish I would have elaborated more at bible study.

We train ourselves quite well to end our prayers with the phrase, “in Jesus’ name.”   However, I don’t think that this is what Jesus had in mind when He made the promise.  We tack this phrase on the end of all of our prayers, but are we really mindful of what we are saying?   Are we contemplating the power of Jesus name at that moment?  Philippians 2:9 says that God gave Jesus the name that is above every name.  The Psalms tell us that the Lord’s name is so powerful, that we can run to it for safety.  We are cautioned not to use this wonderful name in vain. But how often do we say it out of habit, rather than awe???

What Jesus was talking about in this verse is our ability to call on His name in the midst of our need.  Being around my pastor, friend, and mentor Kathryn has taught me something about the power of Jesus’ name.  I noticed that something happens when she calls His name.  HE COMES.   Following in her footsteps,  I have felt His “arrival”  (so to speak) when I’ve called on His name.   JESUS.  In an anxious moment or situation, I’ve called out for Him, and I’ve sensed the wind of His Spirit blow into my presence.  Have you felt it too?

As I’ve faced spiritual opposition, I’ve learned to pray against the enemy’s tactics  “in the name of Jesus.”   Boy, that’ll do it.  The enemy can’t stand to hear that name, and he must bow to it. He must flee.

Then one day, I realized that it’s not just spiritual warfare that demands a request in the name of Jesus.  I’ve started praying more fervently and intentionally about things, and I’m requesting these things in His name.  Right there in the middle of my prayer.  I call on the name of Jesus.

When I do that, it makes me slow down.  I must think about what I’m asking.  I’m speaking the most powerful name, addressing the most powerful being in the universe.  Is this request worthy of His name?  Do you see how this line of prayer keeps me from praying selfish, thoughtless prayers?  I have to stop and think about it.

There’s another condition for this promise from Jesus.  He says He will do whatever we ask, “so that the Son may bring glory to the Father”.  The thing we’re asking for must bring glory to the Father.  Doesn’t that rule out a lot of requests??  This is where I made a statement (at the evening bible study) that might seem perplexing to some:

We need to ask God what we should be praying for.

That seems kind of funny.  Ask God what to ask Him for?  Isn’t prayer about asking for what you want or need?   Isn’t it obvious what I should be praying for?

The question is, are you always sure of what God’s will is?  Haven’t you faced some needs in your life or the life of others that were SO overwhelming that honestly you didn’t know WHAT to pray for?

For years, I would throw out my wish list, my wants, my perspective on things in prayer.  Of course, I learned to add a quick,  “if that’s your will, Lord” near the end.  That sounded so spiritual.  But something changed over the last few years.  I’ve experienced a “prayer revolution” in my life.  I spent some time praying with an amazing group of women, and they taught me how to come to God and just be still.  To begin with praise and confession.  To sit and wait for the Lord to lead our prayers.  Soon, a nudge would come.   Maybe a single word like “patience” or “freedom”.   Sometimes a picture would come to mind, illustrating the true nature of the situation we were praying for.   Often I felt the urge to turn to a certain bible passage that gave me guidance for prayer.  There were even times that I was overwhelmed by an emotion (like anger or grief) and it showed me what to ask the Lord for.  I can also recall moments when the prayer I had on my tongue would not come out of my mouth, no matter how hard I tried.  Clearly, the Lord was telling me that this was not the direction to go.  In all these things, I learned to follow His lead in prayer.

When a situation is bigger than you (which is so often the case in our lives, right?)  it’s time to recognize your limitations.  We cannot see all the forces at work.  We cannot see the future.  We cannot predict what the enemy will attempt.  We may not be sure what God’s will is.  So why not let God lead the prayers?   If He knows the outcome, then He can guide our hearts to pray for the right things.

How often have I sat with someone to pray with them, and I was clueless what to pray?  I didn’t want to offend.  I certainly didn’t want to get their hopes up.  I have learned to be quiet and let God quietly whisper to me a word, reveal a need, or show me a picture in my mind that will guide what I pray for.  It’s okay to just be quiet and wait… instead of trying to fill the silence with unnecessary words.  Do you know how many times I have looked up from these prayer sessions and seen a look of wonder on the friend’s face?  They’ll inevitably say that what I prayed was perfect.  Even if they told me all the details of their struggle, I may not know what to ask God for.   If I wait for Him, God  gives me insight to pray in the right direction.  Praying this way can give God the opportunity to confirm or correct someone.  When we let Him lead, He does His work.

So, Jesus’ words present a promise and a challenge.  He WILL answer. All we have to do is seek Him first, so He can show us what to pray.  Then we can call on the mighty name of Jesus our Lord.  The rest is just watching and waiting for results.  Praising Him until the answers arrive.  He is so good!

The Jesus Prayer -Иисycoва молитва

Hi, My name is Joe and I'm an Addict....

So one of the last things my mom told me before leaving me for my first semester at college was that my grandpa, her dad, was an addicted alcoholic. Talk about a great time to talk about family issues, huh? As I heard her say that, I knew she was only trying to scare me and build a foundation against drinking. Its something I’ll never forget.

I have had the great pleasure in listening to one, if not THE, best radio show ever; LOVELINE. As the name mentions there is a lot of sex related questions (which in their own right scared me from a lot of stuff), but there is also a tremendous amount of talk about drugs, drug abuse, and addictions. My main man, Dr. Drew (yes the same Doc from Sober House and Celebrity Rehab), is at the tip of the spear in drug addiction rehab. I have learned SOOOOOO much from him and the show about AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) and all that is involved in rehab. 

I have come to truly admire the AA and rehab process, volunteers, and the whole thing. 

Hearing, thinking, and being thrilled by the addict’s treatment, has lead me to think about my own life. As I mentioned my grandpa was an addict and addiction can/does run in the family. I can tell you right now, that I have addictions. Not to drugs, alcohol, or other chemicals; and honestly, I am SOOO thankful that I’m not addicted to them. 

But it clicked with me tonight, I think I’m addicted to ANGER. Can I be addicted to anger? Do I get a buzz or high from anger? Well not really. 

Just sometimes I feel like I need to be angry. Sometimes I feel like I have to hit something, good thing I have a punching bag in my basement! 

One of the elements of an addiction is having a trigger. Oh boy, do I have triggers to my anger! I can’t count them on one hand, but here we go:

1. When my parents drill my little brother because they don’t want to or don’t know how to do  something. 

2. Stupid People- This is a BIG category. There are WAY too many ignorant, stupid, idiot, and just dumb people out there. For example, I heard of this lady today who has lived on Section 8 housing her entire life and thinks that she deserves a Plasma TV from the government, just because she’s poor doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be denied life’s luxuries… STUPID!!!

3. Bad Drivers- This is kind of a sub-point of the one above. 

4. People who think their dogs are better than any human being. 

5. People who think that the “rules” don’t apply to them or think that their time is more valuable than mine. 

6. People who cut in line, flat out.

7. Most all politicians, especially those who don’t do a lick of anything for their countrymen. 

8. Roommates who don’t clean up after themselves. 

9. People who don’t come through on their end of an agreement, a lazy team member, or someone who doesn’t do their portion of work. 

10. People who don’t take the serious stuff seriously. 

11. And so much more. 

So I don’t know, maybe I’ll try to go to an AA meeting. Maybe I’ll just realize these are some of my triggers and not to get involved with people like the above. I should probably start with some counseling or going to see a psychologist….

Rehab - It Don't Matter

Taxes, taxes...

Who really likes taxes? I consider them to one of two things. Necessary evils for the things that we all need, and outright theft.

What to do about taxes? Well, you can go the route that California has done, and end up like California. Or, you can do like Colorado did years ago, and pass as well as enforce what was called the taxpayers bill of rights, or TABOR.

Look for an instant back at the very first thing I wrote. It was a question. The list is in fact very long. That being who really likes taxes. Bill Ritter likes taxes. Unions like taxes. People with social agendas like taxes. The list goes on…

Despite the California experience, as well as more than a few other states; there are still people that are completely irresponsible, if not immoral. Below is a piece written by a Colorado Senator that takes a rather candid look at the taxation situation. He addresses Colorado, but in reality, it is the nation. No, I was not attempting to be a poet.

Colorado’s Fiscal Restraint vs. California’s Failed Socialist Experiment

By Senator Ted Harvey

The current and steep recession across the country has not spared Colorado or its budget.  With only five months remaining in this fiscal year, the legislature is racing to cut $600 million from our current year’s budget.   This is a lot of money, but it pales in comparison to the massive $42 BILLION hole that the state of California is trying to manage.

The Golden State legislature has been under lock down as the Democrat majority tried to twist arms and find one more vote to increase government revenue by $14.2 billion by taxing  income, sales, gasoline and cars.  Six years ago Mr. Schwarzenegger defeated Governor Gray Davis by calling him “Car-taxula.”  Ironically, Governor Arnold’s current budget is asking to double the same tax.

The difference between Colorado’s budget troubles and California’s budget meltdown is not random – Colorado is doing comparatively well because its people have pursued fiscal restraint, while Californians have approved reckless spending packages year after year.

US Supreme Court Justice Louis Brandeis once said that state legislatures are laboratories of democracy in America.  The impact of the current economic crises on national and state budgets could not provide a more vivid opportunity to prove this theory.

While Colorado has chosen fiscally prudent constitutional constraints on growth and spending—through the Taxpayer Bill of Rights (TABOR) and a 6% growth cap on state spending—California has chosen the path of a socialist experiment in their state.  Like the failed communist experiments of the 20^th Century, the irresponsible Californian experiment is soon to find its appropriate place atop what President Ronald Reagan called “the ash heap of history.”

The results of California’s experiment are in: the Wall Street Journal explained that California’s “total state expenditures have grown to $145 billion in 2008 from $104 billion in 2003.” As a result, California’s credit rating has fallen beneath Louisiana’s as the worst in the nation, and the state can now boast the nation’s fourth-highest unemployment rate of 9.3%, and the second-highest foreclosure rate.

Businesses in California have been heavily taxed to fund the $145 billion of entitlement programs, and have been heavily regulated to live up to special interest “green” and “pro-union” policies.

While California businesses are fleeing the burdensome tax and regulatory schemes of the Golden State, Colorado is aggressively marketing to these companies.  Just last month, Douglas County successfully secured 500 new jobs resulting from the relocation of a division of Charles Schwab from California to Colorado—partially because of our friendlier business climate.

The lesson Colorado’s legislators must learn from this recession is clear: fiscal responsibility works. Even though the legislature collectively fell short of creating a rainy day fund, TABOR and the Arveschoug-Bird 6% spending cap forced Colorado legislators to keep spending low. Had the government enjoyed free rein in ramping up spending – which is a great temptation to many lawmakers tasked with spending other people’s money – Colorado’s budget crisis would be as serious as California’s.

The spending limits of TABOR and the Arveschoug-Bird cap implement a culture of fiscal responsibility where there would otherwise be a temptation to spend every dollar that can be stripped from the taxpayers. Colorado must keep these spending limits in place to avoid falling into the trap of state socialism.

Free and Open Source Finance/Accounting Software for Linux

If you have a small or medium-size business, then you may consider using finance or accounting software to efficiently manage your own venture. You can choose from a wide variety of finance programs. –Some of them are really expensive, while others will cost you nothing.

To those who are using Linux and are living on a tight budget, you can try some of these open source finance/accounting software that you can get for free:

GnuCash

GnuCash was initially aimed at developing capabilities similar to Quicken; a popular personal finance management tool developed by Intuit, Inc. GnuCash has features for small business accounting. Designed to be easy to use, yet powerful and flexible, it allows you to track bank accounts, stocks, income and expenses. Some of its main features are:

* Scheduled Transactions

* Mortgage & Loan Repayment Druid

* Double-Entry Accounting

* Small Business Accounting Features

* OFX, QIF Import

* Transaction-Import Matching Support

* (Limited) Multi-User SQL Support

* Multi-Currency Transaction Handling

* Stock/Mutual Fund Portfolios

* Online Stock & Mutual Fund Quotes

OpenERP

OpenERP is claimed to be a complete ERP and CRM system. It has separate client and server components. Among the features are management accounting, financial accounting, inventory management, sales and purchase management, tasks automation, Human Resource Management, marketing campaigns, help desk, and point of sale. Open ERP is known to be very complete and extremely modular, with 350 available modules. It is based on a strong MVC architecture, with a distributed server, flexible workflows, an object database, a dynamic GUI, an XML-RPC interface, and customizable reports.

Compiere

Compiere is an ERP and CRM business solution for the Small and Medium-sized Enterprise in distribution, retail, service and manufacturing. Compiere is distributed by Compiere, Inc. and through the Compiere Partner Network, a collection of trained and authorized business partners. The application and source code is provided on the basis of the GNU General Public License version 2. A commercial license, documentation and support contracts are also available for a fee.

Adempiere

Adempiere is a community-driven project that develops and supports an open source business solution of the same name that delivers Enterprise Resource Planning, Customer Relationship Management and Supply Chain Management functionality. The following business areas are addressed by the Adempiere application:

* Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP)

* Supply Chain Management (SCM)

* Customer Relationship Management (CRM)

* Financial Performance Analysis

* Integrated Point of sale (POS) solution

* Integrated Web Store

SQL-Ledger

SQL-Ledger is a double entry accounting/ERP system. Accounting data is stored in a SQL database server, for the display any text or GUI browser can be used. The entire system is linked through a chart of accounts. Each item in inventory is linked to income, expense, inventory and tax accounts. When items are sold and purchased, the accounts are automatically updated. Invoices, Packing Lists, Income Statement, Balance Sheet, Sales, Work and Purchase Orders, Statements, Receipts and Checks are generated from templates and can be changed to suit your needs.

By:  jun auza

Strategies for Business Financial Management, Show Me How Vi

Just when I thought I had it together ...

This is kind of funny, in retrospect.

If you’ve been reading this blog regularly, you know that the last couple of weeks (basically since I got back from Vegas) have been a real hoot — car trouble, depression, deadlines, all kinds of weird stressors dumping into my life.  But with the exception of my third straight disheartening congregational visit last Sunday, all of it had passed by Friday.  And not to pull a muscle patting myself on the back, but I thought I’d handled it fairly well.  This week, things have been going smoothly — I’m on track with my to-do list, the car is fine, I’m getting my exercise in.  I’m doing great.

So great that this afternoon the Supermodel had to come and figuratively kick me in the butt.

The Spooks- Things i've seen

Inga Charlotte Taubert - Exhibition

EXHIBITION - artist: Inga Charlotte Taubert, location: Galerie Six Friedrich - Lisa Ungar Muenchen, date: 18.01.09 / current exhibitions at: Galerie Six Friedrich - Lisa Ungar Muenchen 2008. Artistinformation and biography-text from: Inga Charlotte Taubert Galerie Six Friedrich - Lisa Ungar Muenchen

State or Non-State Terrorism: What's Your Bet?

Sheffield, Alabama. Reynolds Metal Company. Workman in reduction plant. The white powder on his face is alumina. August 1942. (Photo: Jack Delano)

Envelopes containing “a suspicious white powder” were mailed to Wall Street Journal Managing Editor Robert Thomson, Dow Jones Chief Executive Les Hinton and Journal Editorial Page Editor Paul Gigot at the WSJ’s New York headquarters.

Harvard Law School professor Alan Dershowitz, in Cambridge, Massachusetts, also received an envelope with a white powdery surprise inside.

The FBI has “declined to comment” on whether the mailings are related but Shira Ovide, writing for the WSJ on the subject, points to Mr. Dershowitz’s opinion piece published by the WSJ on January 2, 2009 which expressed support of Israel’s military actions in Gaza. The inference she clearly wants the reader to draw is that this rash of mailings is tied to events in Gaza, or some other “anti-Israel” source.

All of the envelopes had the same Knoxville, Tennessee postmark.

Given what we have learned about how “intelligence operations” function, it would not surprise me at all to learn that this postal exercise originated in a US or Israeli “intelligence” agency. They are just that desperate.

Initial tests of the envelopes received at the WSJ indicate that the powder “was probably flour or a food-based substance” and not hazardous.

The ninth and eleventh floors of the WSJ offices were evacuated, five people were quarantined and subsequently released, but the tenth and twelfth floors, where the paper is actually produced, were not evacuated and work continued uninterrupted. Very convenient!

My doubts about the source of these envelopes only increases when news stories contain extraneous facts like this from the Reuters article:

The building is on Liberty Street in lower Manhattan, close to the Ground Zero site where the World Trade Center stood before it was attacked and destroyed on September 11, 2001.

They tell you this just in case you didn’t understand, reading “New York,” that the WSJ building is really close to where a real terrorist attack occurred.

My money is on this being a game of international charades.

Thursday Thirteen . . . Updates

For this week’s Thursday Thirteen I’m writing 13 personal updates that could have made several different blog posts, but instead I’ve condensed them all in to this one.

1. Things have been busy and maybe even a little chaotic around here, but life is good.  I’m counting my blessings and making sure I’m thankful for what I have because you know what . . . it could be so much worse. what with these tough times and all.  


2.  Trying to get in to a groove has been an adjustment for all.  I had a bit of a temper tantrum over the weekend which seemed to have maybe shifted his focus to helping me out a little more.  I know he works hard, but so do Iand sometimes, although it’s hard for me, I need to admit I’m not superwoman.  “Nuff Said!


3. I am really excited by growth opportunities at work.  I can’t say enough how much I love, love, love what I do!  So, what if the laundry doesn’t exactly get done on a timely basis, right?


4. The diet is going pretty well except for the huge box of Thornton’s chocolates my mum brought back from the UK — hands down they are the best chocolates in the world — evah!  !  I’ve just been cutting back on bread basically and trying to get some exercise in where I can which inevitably ends up being … Pilates … in the evening … whilst I’m watching the box.


5. Speaking of . . .  Lost, Battlestar Galactica, American Idol are BACK!  Can’t wait.  Am I missing anything else I should be watching except for True Blood?


6. Got tickets to go see Missy Higgins in concert down in Saint Petersburg!


7. I LOVE awards shows and was captivated by the Golden Globes this past weekend because it meant s it’s almost time for my annual Oscars partay!  Kinda like a Superbowl party, but for the ladies — complete with gowns, big hair, red carpet, Oscar pool, games, food, champers and of course the infamous swag bags as assembled and donated by my very own mum!!  Can’t wait!


8. I’m finding myself more and more addicted to Facebook and I think I’ve realised why.  Because I like to talk to myself!  It’s great for that isn’t it?  Except, of course, you’re not talking to yourself … you’re putting it out there … in cyberspace.  Mmmmmmm.


9. My old schoolfriends and I have decided on where to go for our 40th birthday celebrations — NEW YORK CITY!  Look out the Big Apple!


10. We’re thinking of downsizing from the mini-van.  Yeah!  No more mommy-van.  Going to test drive some sedans in the near future.


11. Hubby is going to Nashville to pick up the mobile ghetto which means all traces of our lives up there are now gone.  We finally got the deposit back on the house that we bought up there.  Makes me a little nostalgic about what might have been.


12. I finally went to see Twilight.  I know, right?  *sigh*  Edward, Edward, Edward!  *sigh* What else can I say?


13. And, in closing, I’m so, looking forward to Tuesday and the inauguration.

Italian Flag Pasta

whats_cooking_claire_001

Originally uploaded by heyclaire

The Italian Flag Pasta

Didja ever have one of those nights when you are so exhausted that the thought of conjuring up another meal seems impossible? Yeah? Me, too! So, that’s what happened last night. Too tired to even think of cooking, but hubby’s stomach was growling. I looked in the fridge and found 1/2 carton of leftover beef stock, an unopened package of pepperoni, a little bit of ground walnuts ( left-over from my recent cookie-baking frenzy) and a half-head of garlic. So, I took it all out along with a package of frozen broccoli and less than 30 minutes later ( hah! to you, Rachel Ray! ) we had a darn good meal. Here’s what I did:

Ingredients:

1 lb. thin spaghetti

1/4 lb. sliced pepperoni

1 large bag frozen broccoli

about 6 cloves garlic, sliced thin

2 or 3 TBSP. olive oil

1 or 2 cups beef stock

handful of ground walnuts, optional

Method:

Put a large pot of water on to boil. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a frying pan over medium/low flame while slicing the garlic. Add the pepperoni

(you can either leave it just in slices or turn those slices into a julienne as I did ) and cook until crisp. Add the garlic and stir. Let the garlic cook about 2 or 3 minutes and then add the broccoli and beef stock. Simmer while the spaghetti cooks.

To the large pot of boiling water, add a big pinch of salt and the spaghetti. Cook spaghetti until al dente and drain. Add to the broccoli mixture and serve with some grated cheese, if desired. Garnish with walnuts ( if you’ve got ‘em! ).

Enjoy the pretty colors of the Italian flag that this meal presents!

What do you want?

Ok, so school it is, I think…That was the decision I reached at some time in December 07 - Feb 08.  Very  decisive of me right?

Have any of you ever had that dream where you are supposed to run away or scream and you just can’t?  That feeling of being stuck, immobile, voiceless.  Well unfortunately for me, I often feel that way in real life.  I know I should do something, I want to do something, but I just don’t know how to get there, or feel completely hopeless in being able to get there.

I wonder how some people are able to carve out their niche in life/work with such ease.  Or at least to me it looks as though it comes with ease.  I mean let’s think about the progression to getting to what you want.  You go through school (high school, then college/university for some) then get a job, and work.  And hopefully you study something that will prepare you to get the job you want.  But how do you know what job you want? Experience has shown me that there are a lot of jobs out there today whose job title most people wouldn’t know of/understand or more importantly, didn’t even exist by the time you’re expected to start preparing for them.

Now I’ve filled out all those career/personality surveys that are supposed to predict the kind of work you’re best suited for.  And I’ve gone on to workopolis and monster to job hunt, browsing through categories that are supposed to sound kind of like what I think I want to do.  But honestly, I think all of that is a load of crock.

So how do you know what you want to do?  Forgive me if my question sounds simplistic or silly, or immature.  But I sincerely mean it.  So let me suggest a couple “answers” to this question.

1) Look at those around you:  What do people in your family do?  How about extended family, friends, friends’ parents, community members, etc.  Are there teachers you’ve met who can provide guidance.  Well in my case, I come from a big family, and I have to good fortune of being the youngest, i.e. I can benefit from my elder siblings years of wisdom.  I love my family dearly, but there were no career paths any of them chose to pursue I wanted to as well.  Well at least the process of elimination was of some benefit.  Answer here, I only know what I think I do not want to do…that’s a start.

2) What do you like to do and can it be financially fruitful?  This depends entirely on context.  I loved to draw as a kid, and I wasn’t half bad at it, but the chances are I will never make a living out of this.  Not to mention the fact that I haven’t expended any effort on this talent since I was 16.  Scratch that off the list.  I like to read.  Maybe I can read for the rest of  my life!  Sheer brilliance!  Or not, career paths one can pursue based on the talent of reading - editor? reviewer? publisher?  The truth is I have no idea…  So let’s put that idea away somewhere too.  I like watching tv/movies.  Yeah, I don’t see a career in that either.  I also like going to school.  Hmm professional student!  Another moment of sheer brilliance.  Note however this will require for me to succumb to the idea of marrying rich to a man who doesn’t mind a wife who  is forever in school.  I like clothes, but  there isn’t a designer in me.  I love eating.  But if I do that for a living, chances are I’ll gain a ton of weight.  And at this point I think I’ve sadly exhausted my list of things I enjoy.  So no luck here for me.

3) What is there to do?  So let’s say somewhere in looking at the first two you decided on what it is you think you want to do.  An even more important question is, is there room in the discipline for you to do it?  That is, is there even work available.  If not, can you create the need yourself?  Suffice it to say there is not a huge demand for mediocre artists/readers/professional students/tv-watchers.

4) What are you qualified to do and are you willing to become qualified?  This issue puzzles me.  Professional school will prepare individuals to pursue a certain field.  Experience and talent will prepare others.  In academia, school and experience is supposed to give you the ultimate prestige of being called an “expert” in a field.  And as an expert of course then naturally you’re able to do certain work.  Right…Um, about that, how do you get to be an expert exactly?  Beats me, so moving right along.

5) Spend lots and lots of time doing research…somewhere…career magazines, websites, blogs, I would assume.

Generally speaking, after looking at these things, you should be able to form a fairly good idea of what you want to do.  Let’s assume however, that you’ve gone through this exercise and you still have no clue.  Welcome to the club!!!  Rest assured you have plenty of company.  Or at least I have convinced myself that I have plenty of company.

The truth is I don’t think all of this really helps.  What I do  think matters, is taking the time to honestly ask yourself what do you want out of life, not of work necessarily, but life as a whole.

So what did I want?  Let’s do a bit of rudimentary Maslow’s for a moment.  I need certain basic things, shelter, food, clothing.  I just turned 23.  I will need a home of my own at some point, I don’t need anything grand, but a space I enjoy.  I am not someone who feels a need to buy fancy things, though I do have a love for gadgets.  So let’s make up a number.  What kind of salary will I need to have to support the lifestyle I want.  At a bare minimum let’s say 35K.  See now, that’s not unreasonable.  If anything it’s unreasonable on the side of being too low.  But that is at the very least a livable salary.

I know I want to have a family at some point, maybe in the next 5-7 yrs.

All of this seems fairly obvious.  And it’s not helping narrow down the question of what I want.  So ask yourself this, do you need to find purpose  in your life?  When you wake up in the morning, what do you want to help you get out of bed.  For some the sense of purpose comes from having a family, and raising children, and being a good wife.  For others their sense of purpose is deeply connected to their sense of spirituality and their practice of faith.  If you don’t know what your purpose is, as cliched as this sounds, take the time to find out.  Now I know people spend their entire lives trying to figure this out, so it’s not something you can wake up one morning and do.  But that’s not the point.  The point is to think about it.  What do you dream of doing/having/creating/building/knowing/learning.

So do this:  make a list.  It’s simple.  No fear involved here.  Just make a list.  And in this list, write down the ideas that come to mind when you ask yourself: What do I dream of doing/having/creating/building/knowing/learning.

The list can be ridiculous.  In fact the more ridiculous the better, as long as its interspersed with a fair dose of reality as well.

I’ll share my list with you tomorrow.  And we’ll take it from there.

Happy list-writing.  Dreamers and thinkers are more than welcome.

Seets