Ok, so school it is, I think…That was the decision I reached at some time in December 07 - Feb 08. Very decisive of me right?
Have any of you ever had that dream where you are supposed to run away or scream and you just can’t? That feeling of being stuck, immobile, voiceless. Well unfortunately for me, I often feel that way in real life. I know I should do something, I want to do something, but I just don’t know how to get there, or feel completely hopeless in being able to get there.
I wonder how some people are able to carve out their niche in life/work with such ease. Or at least to me it looks as though it comes with ease. I mean let’s think about the progression to getting to what you want. You go through school (high school, then college/university for some) then get a job, and work. And hopefully you study something that will prepare you to get the job you want. But how do you know what job you want? Experience has shown me that there are a lot of jobs out there today whose job title most people wouldn’t know of/understand or more importantly, didn’t even exist by the time you’re expected to start preparing for them.
Now I’ve filled out all those career/personality surveys that are supposed to predict the kind of work you’re best suited for. And I’ve gone on to workopolis and monster to job hunt, browsing through categories that are supposed to sound kind of like what I think I want to do. But honestly, I think all of that is a load of crock.
So how do you know what you want to do? Forgive me if my question sounds simplistic or silly, or immature. But I sincerely mean it. So let me suggest a couple “answers” to this question.
1) Look at those around you: What do people in your family do? How about extended family, friends, friends’ parents, community members, etc. Are there teachers you’ve met who can provide guidance. Well in my case, I come from a big family, and I have to good fortune of being the youngest, i.e. I can benefit from my elder siblings years of wisdom. I love my family dearly, but there were no career paths any of them chose to pursue I wanted to as well. Well at least the process of elimination was of some benefit. Answer here, I only know what I think I do not want to do…that’s a start.
2) What do you like to do and can it be financially fruitful? This depends entirely on context. I loved to draw as a kid, and I wasn’t half bad at it, but the chances are I will never make a living out of this. Not to mention the fact that I haven’t expended any effort on this talent since I was 16. Scratch that off the list. I like to read. Maybe I can read for the rest of my life! Sheer brilliance! Or not, career paths one can pursue based on the talent of reading - editor? reviewer? publisher? The truth is I have no idea… So let’s put that idea away somewhere too. I like watching tv/movies. Yeah, I don’t see a career in that either. I also like going to school. Hmm professional student! Another moment of sheer brilliance. Note however this will require for me to succumb to the idea of marrying rich to a man who doesn’t mind a wife who is forever in school. I like clothes, but there isn’t a designer in me. I love eating. But if I do that for a living, chances are I’ll gain a ton of weight. And at this point I think I’ve sadly exhausted my list of things I enjoy. So no luck here for me.
3) What is there to do? So let’s say somewhere in looking at the first two you decided on what it is you think you want to do. An even more important question is, is there room in the discipline for you to do it? That is, is there even work available. If not, can you create the need yourself? Suffice it to say there is not a huge demand for mediocre artists/readers/professional students/tv-watchers.
4) What are you qualified to do and are you willing to become qualified? This issue puzzles me. Professional school will prepare individuals to pursue a certain field. Experience and talent will prepare others. In academia, school and experience is supposed to give you the ultimate prestige of being called an “expert” in a field. And as an expert of course then naturally you’re able to do certain work. Right…Um, about that, how do you get to be an expert exactly? Beats me, so moving right along.
5) Spend lots and lots of time doing research…somewhere…career magazines, websites, blogs, I would assume.
Generally speaking, after looking at these things, you should be able to form a fairly good idea of what you want to do. Let’s assume however, that you’ve gone through this exercise and you still have no clue. Welcome to the club!!! Rest assured you have plenty of company. Or at least I have convinced myself that I have plenty of company.
The truth is I don’t think all of this really helps. What I do think matters, is taking the time to honestly ask yourself what do you want out of life, not of work necessarily, but life as a whole.
So what did I want? Let’s do a bit of rudimentary Maslow’s for a moment. I need certain basic things, shelter, food, clothing. I just turned 23. I will need a home of my own at some point, I don’t need anything grand, but a space I enjoy. I am not someone who feels a need to buy fancy things, though I do have a love for gadgets. So let’s make up a number. What kind of salary will I need to have to support the lifestyle I want. At a bare minimum let’s say 35K. See now, that’s not unreasonable. If anything it’s unreasonable on the side of being too low. But that is at the very least a livable salary.
I know I want to have a family at some point, maybe in the next 5-7 yrs.
All of this seems fairly obvious. And it’s not helping narrow down the question of what I want. So ask yourself this, do you need to find purpose in your life? When you wake up in the morning, what do you want to help you get out of bed. For some the sense of purpose comes from having a family, and raising children, and being a good wife. For others their sense of purpose is deeply connected to their sense of spirituality and their practice of faith. If you don’t know what your purpose is, as cliched as this sounds, take the time to find out. Now I know people spend their entire lives trying to figure this out, so it’s not something you can wake up one morning and do. But that’s not the point. The point is to think about it. What do you dream of doing/having/creating/building/knowing/learning.
So do this: make a list. It’s simple. No fear involved here. Just make a list. And in this list, write down the ideas that come to mind when you ask yourself: What do I dream of doing/having/creating/building/knowing/learning.
The list can be ridiculous. In fact the more ridiculous the better, as long as its interspersed with a fair dose of reality as well.
I’ll share my list with you tomorrow. And we’ll take it from there.
Happy list-writing. Dreamers and thinkers are more than welcome.
Seets
